4 months

I'm writing this months blog a little late. 4 months have passed and it doesn't even feel like I've ever had surgery. I get the occasional reminder if I eat a dry piece of meat or if I eat too fast but fortunately those occurrences are very few and far between.

I've taken up baking sugar free desserts lately and have noticed that I'm eating a sugar free treat just about every night. I'm trying to be careful about this but I don't have treats during the day so I consider my nightly sugar free desserts to be deserved (as long as I don't overdo it).

I've started a running program as well in hopes of running a 5K in the spring. Its a goal I'm confident I can achieve. So far I'm doing well with the program and don't find it too difficult but I'm only running for minutes at a time right now. Let's see what happens when I'm running for 20-30 minutes! Its sounds hard to me right now but I know that's something I have to build up to. I've also started working with a trainer. I meet with her once a week. The first time I worked with her we worked my shoulders and back...wow! I was so sore the next day but it felt good! I have no upper body strength so its about time I build some! My goal with all of this is to have a fit body. I want to be in shape. I don't want to be 'skinny' or 'buff'...I want to be healthy, fit and toned!

I've also noticed myself eating or sometimes snacking a bit more. I'm not eating a large amount of food but the choice in food could be better. It hit home when I stepped on the scale this week and for the first time in four months, the numbers on the scale went up instead of down! I actually gained weight! I know its not the exercise because I went to the gym a few times last week plus met with the trainer. I had two parties over the weekend that I went to and I didn't eat the healthiest types of food at either party. So, that goes to prove that even though I've had surgery, I still have to do the work and make the proper food choices or I will gain weight back!

67lbs lost...and counting!

3 months!

Its been 3 months since my surgery and boy do I feel great! I have lost 57 lbs and it shows. Even though I tried to fight it I just couldn't help myself...I had to go out and buy some new clothes. I went to a consignment shop first and bought a few articles of clothing there, so at least I didn't spend a lot of money. But then I got sucked into Target and ended up buying a few more pieces there, plus a coat. I wanted enough stuff to last me through the fall and hopefully the winter. It was actually fun to go shopping! It was great going through the smaller sizes. I can fit in a large size top now (although I bought my coat in an XL size to accommodate bulky sweaters underneath) and I can comfortably fit into size 16 pants! This is all so exciting to me! I can't wait until I'm no longer in plus size pants!

I'm still doing good with the eating part, although I have caught myself craving snack type food in the afternoon. I'm trying not to eat carbs like crackers or trail mix, but I find it hard. I try to pair it up with a protein like cheese, but its hard for me to resist the crunch. Its still too early for me to let those old habits find their way back into my life. I do not want to let that happen! So, my challenge has been trying to find smart and healthy snacks that will satisfy me in the afternoon between lunch and dinner. Besides that, I'm eating fine, getting in enough protein and fluids.

I've decided that I'd like to run a 5K in the spring. I've never run before and I don't know if I'll be any good at it but I'd like to try. I really think its something I can do. I need to start training for it now though so I'll be ready. I don't even know how to begin training but that's something I'm going to look up. Maybe I'll seek out a personal trainer at my gym? Nevertheless, I'd like to challenge myself to do this.

I know I"m still in the 'honeymoon' phase of this post-op period but I hope I continue to have this success and weight loss! I love it!

2 months and under 200!

I am so psyched this morning! Its been 2 months since my surgery and I am down 42 lbs and under 200 lbs for the first time since high school! I gasped when I saw the number on the scale this morning! It was such a great feeling! Everything is going really well for me. I'm eating very well and not having any problems with foods at all. I'm eating a large variety of food and when I try something new I make sure to take my time and really chew and this has worked for me so far. I've noticed such a huge difference in my clothes! All my jeans are so big on me...I mean really big! My mom is donating some jeans to me so I don't have to go out and buy any because I can't keep wearing my old clothes. They don't fit right and I feel like I look so sloppy cause they're so big. Having big clothes like that is actually a great feeling! I've never had clothes that didn't fit cause they were too big so its kind of funny and flattering! I will thoroughly enjoy going out to buy all new clothes when the time comes! For now I am loving life and loving this journey I'm on! This surgery really is a great thing and its working so well for me! I'm looking good and I'm feeling even better about myself...and this is only the start :D

Close call

Its been 5 weeks since the surgery and I've been happy and fascinated with the fact that I have not gotten sick or nauseated at all since I started eating food. I've been almost proud of that fact. Well...I almost had an experience with not tolerating my food this evening, and I was in a very public place.

I was eating chicken salad (that was made with a pretty generous portion of mayonnaise) and after several minutes and several bites I felt a tightness in the middle of my chest right between my breasts. I've felt that feeling before, very minor, and it feels like something is stuck there or is traveling down very slowly. As the minutes went by the sensation got worse and worse until my mouth starting watering and I started getting nervous. I was in an auditorium waiting for a meeting to start and soooo did not want to get sick. I quickly went to the restroom where I just stood around and waited for the sensation to go away. It subsided, but didn't go away entirely. So, I went back to the auditorium and sat down, only to have to get back up a minute later with that same intense discomfort in my chest. Whatever was there I just wanted it to go down, not come back up! I stood by the door in the back of the auditorium and just waited. I took a small sip of water hoping that would resolve the problem and not make it worse, and thankfully after about a minute the tight ball in my chest went away.

I think what my problem was is that I didn't chew my food as thoroughly as I should have...that, and I may have eaten too fast. I was talking on the phone while I was eating so I may not have been paying attention to my chewing. I must be more careful in the future because that was a close call and I don't want to experience that again!

1 month and feeling great

Four weeks ago today I had my surgery. I cannot believe that a month has gone by! I feel great...I feel like myself again. I have a slight uncomfortable feeling from my upper left incision but that's it..no pain or real discomfort. I've lost 23 lbs in the last 6 weeks, 17 lbs since my surgery. I've read about people losing crazy amounts of weight their first month, like 30-35 lbs. Obviously, that's not me. I'm just so grateful to be where I am right now...to feel good and not have any issues or complications. I haven't had a problem with food at all, and that, I have to say, is surprising. I did SO much reading before my surgery so I could know what to expect and exactly what I needed to do. I expected not to tolerate much food and be nauseous and vomit. That hasn't happened to me once! Now, that's not to say that it won't happen in the future, but as of right now I've tolerated everything that's gone into my mouth. I'm very happy about that!

I've also really stepped it up with exercising. My goal is to go to the gym, or at least exercise, 4-5 days a week. I live so close to my gym so that helps out a lot. I basically use the gym for the treadmill only. I go in, do 40-45 minutes on the treadmill, power walking or a slow jog, and then leave. What I do need to start doing is toning up. I'm going to start using a DVD for that...lots of squats, lunges, and resistance band work.

I'm so glad that I feel so good!

Vacation challenge

My family and I vacationed in Ocean City, Maryland all last week. It was a very nice time with very nice weather. This trip took a lot of planning on my part because since I'm only 2 1/2 weeks post-op I have to take all my supplements along with me and figure out what I'm going to do when the dining out situation comes up. We went out to eat four times and I was able to make healthy, high protein choices. Going out to eat wasn't the big deal I thought it would be. I had to carefully scan the menu and see what my options were. Appetizers and salads are always a good choice, if they're not fried. I had chicken salad twice, making sure to only eat the chicken and maybe some cheese, shrimp cocktail one night, and a mozzarella and tomato salad another night. Everything was moist and went down easily. The rest of the time we ate in our condo and I bought foods I could easily prepare and eat like tuna fish, yogurt, eggs, cheese, and popsicles. I even made my white chicken chili one night for everyone and it was a big hit...everyone loved it. I chewed my food slowly and was always the last one at the table eating. I never thought I would be going out to eat 3 weeks post op, but being on vacation I really couldn't help it. I just did the best I could, made the best possible choices, and it all worked out.

2 weeks out

Its been 2 weeks since my surgery. Time really does go by fast! I have to say that I am really impressed with my progress. I think that I'm doing really well. Since my surgery I've lost 14 lbs, but since my 2 week pre-op diet I've lost a total of 20.5 lbs. I'm pleased with that and am not giving myself any sort of time frame to lose weight. As long as I'm eating right and exercising the weight will come off. I'm doing really well with food and protein. I'm tolerating all the soft foods that I've eaten without any problems...no nausea, vomiting, or upset stomach...none at all. I'm doing great at getting in all my protein too. Its true what I've read...at this stage its impossible to get in all the required daily protein through food alone. You have to use supplements if you even want to get close to the required amount (70 grams a day). I've been using a nectar protein in cherry flavor, a vanilla protein powder, unflavored protein to sprinkle in food, and the Atkins Advantage ready to drink protein. Without those I'd probably be malnourished.

Exercise is slowly working its way back into my life too. Last week I walked around the neighborhood three days. This week I actually made it to the gym for the first time in 10 months. I power walked for 30 minutes and then did the stationary bike for another 10 minutes. I felt good afterward! Its time to start going back there on a regular basis.

Slowly things are starting to change. My husband told me he thinks I look a bit smaller in my mid section. I don't see it but I thanked him anyway. I can't wait until I start to notice the weight loss in my clothes and when I look in the mirror. It will come in time. As long as I do what I'm supposed to do, the weight will come off!

1 Week

Its been one week since my surgery. I can't believe its been one week already. I think I'm doing really well. I feel good....still sore and tender on the left side of my abdomen, but other than that, no discomfort. It was another boring day at home. I went for a walk again with Mazzy, which was good for both of us. I have to start moving. I look forward to feeling better so I can really start exercising. Other than going for a walk I didn't do anything today. I drank my fluids and am keeping hydrated. I'm even getting in some protein through my nectar protein supplement. Hopefully today will be the last day of clear liquids. I have my post-op appointment tomorrow so hopefully they tell me I can advance my diet.

Surgery day (post-op)

I was wheeled away sometime after 1pm. The anesthesiologist and OR nurse were so nice. They talked to me the whole time, told me what was going to happen and kept me at ease. It was an odd experience...being on the other end of nursing care as a patient...but I was in a good place and trusted those people with my life (literally). The OR was chilly. I transferred to the narrow OR table and they covered me with warm blankets. They set me up appropriately, gave me some Versed and the last thing I remember was looking above at the over head lights.

I woke up sometime after 5pm. My throat was dry, I barely had a voice and my abdomen had been bashed in with a sledgehammer (or at least that's what it felt like). I didn't hesitate to ask for pain meds. I felt terrible...lots of pain...more than I ever anticipated. I was only in the PACU for about 45 minutes when they took me to my room on the 5th floor. I was very out of it, very tired form the anesthesia and very sore! I had a foley catheter and some oxygen through a nasal cannula. I had IV fluids running. After I got settled in my room Luis came back to see me and then a while later, my brother. I was so tired and in so much pain so they didn't visit for very long. Moving in bed was so difficult but I did try to move around and to move my legs as much as possible.

Even though I was so uncomfortable and in a lot of pain I never once second guessed my decision. I knew this was part of the journey and the pain would only be temporary. I got through that first night...it was a very long night.

Surgery Day (pre-op)

The day of surgery has arrived! I had to report to the surgical staging unit at 9:30am. A nurse took me back around 9:50, took my vital signs, asked me a bunch of admission questions and started an IV. A resident then came in and asked me several of the same questions. It was pretty much a morning of just waiting. My surgeon was behind so we were just sitting there waiting for a couple of hours. We talked and joked around, not really about the surgery, but about other things. I was nervous at this point and reflected a bit with my husband on why I was doing this again. All the reasons came back to me quickly with our brief conversation and I knew I was doing the right thing. I just wanted to get it over with!

A new day

Its the morning of my surgery. I actually slept through the night. I did wake up a few times and was dreaming but it wasn't from nerves. I must admit I'm a little nervous this morning. My husband woke up and got our daughter ready and took her to day care. I gave her big hugs and kisses and told her I'll see her tomorrow. She is definitely some of my inspiration. Mommy is getting healthy for herself but also for her. I want to be a good example to her. I know I could do that without the surgery but I want her to grow up with a healthy, fit mom who tries to live her life in a healthy manner. I want to pass that on to her so she doesn't have to grow up overweight like me.

Its time to shower and get myself ready. Its a new day!

Here I come!

Tomorrow is the big day! I can't believe its here! Time really does go by fast although you never realize it until time passes you by. I remember when I first started thinking about weight loss surgery...that was almost a year ago. Now...here I am, the night before my surgery trying to sort through all the thoughts that are in my head.

My husband and I ate a sushi dinner...nothing out of the ordinary or gluttonous, but something delicious and 'normal'. After that he took my before photos and my measurements. We're going to do that every month until I get to my goal weight. It will be interesting to see the progression and the changes in my body.

Right now I feel fine. I'm not nervous (at this particular moment), but I'm not that excited either. I'm sure I'll be feeling a mix of things tomorrow morning. I want to get it over with, that's for sure. Part of me is thinking "am I crazy for doing this"? My body will never be the same and I'll have to live with this decision for the rest of my life. I know that this surgery has the potential to change my life for the better but I also know that I am a big part of that change and I have to put the work into it. The time for change is now!

The brand new me...here I come!

Never say Never

2 more days to go...wow! I went out to dinner with my husband last night. I've been trying to avoid this whole 'Last Supper' thing but it hit me yesterday. I just wanted to eat a 'normal' meal. We found a steakhouse and ate there. I wasn't a total glutton...I mean I didn't eat any more than I normally would have. We had a chicken appetizer, a Cesar salad, and I had a small 7 oz steak with mashed potatoes and a shrimp and crab gratan. It was good. I left full, that's for sure. It was probably the last time I would ever eat that much in one sitting. I'll never eat a plate of food like that again! Its crazy to say something like that...never. I always used to say "Never say never" but in this case its true. In the future I won't have the multi-course dinner we all get at restaurants. I won't indulge in an appetizer, a salad, the main course and wash it down with a soda. I look forward to being satisfied from a few bites of a nice, moist steak and a few bites of a vegetable or salad. That will be my dinner experience from now on.

Test Day

Today I went to have all my pre-admission testing done. It was simple and fairly quick. I spoke with a nurse who drew my blood and did an EKG. Then I spoke with a nurse practitioner from the anesthesia group...and finally a chest x-ray was done all in one hours time. Everyone was so nice and wished me luck for my surgery on Wednesday. While taking my medical history (which is pretty much non-existant) the nurse practitioner kept commenting on how 'easy' I was. "This is so easy", she kept saying. I knew what she meant and it made me feel good to know how low-risk I am for surgery and anesthesia. Now all I have to do is wait for the phone call the evening before surgery telling me what time to report to the surgical waiting area.

7 Days

7 days...exactly one week from today my life will change forever. Time is actually going slowly because I'm literally counting down the days, but I can't help it. I've been doing really well following the Atkins diet. I've wanted to cheat many times but have refrained, knowing that it won't contribute to the overall goal...which is to change my lifestyle and eating habits. I'm also working on changing my thought process about food and positive thinking to go along with the physical changes. Its not easy but nothing hard ever is, right?

Pre-admission testing

I got the phone call this morning to schedule my pre-admission testing. Its a two hour appointment where I have my anesthesia consult, a physical and all the necessary testing done like blood work, EKG and chest x-ray. I knew that they wouldn't call to schedule this until a week before my surgery, but I've still been anxiously waiting for the call. This is just one more step closer to next week. Its only 8 days away!

Cravings

I had strong cravings this afternoon. Cravings for all the restaurant foods that I love and that I so desperately want right now! I just kept thinking of all the places I love to go eat and how I won't be able to eat at those places for a very long time. I also reminded myself how silly it was to think that way because in time I will be able to enjoy most foods again, just in smaller amounts. I'm experiencing this thing called the 'Last Supper' phenomenon. I want to eat all I can right now and get those 'last meals' in before the surgery. Since I'm on Atkins pre-operatively I can't really eat any the foods I'm craving anyway, but that didn't stop the strong urge to eat them.

Without really thinking about it I distracted myself by playing with my daughter and watching Spongebob Squarepants with her for a few minutes and that actually distracted me from my cravings. I wasn't trying to distract myself but it happened and after a few minutes my strong cravings were gone! I'll have to remember that in the future cause this won't be the last time!

And thank god for my wonderful, supportive husband, who through email, reminded me that this was all in my head and that I have to be strong. He's the best!

Trigger Foods

I've been reading some books about weight loss surgery and one book in particular discusses trigger foods and how important it is to remove them from your home. Trigger foods are those foods we all gravitate towards when we do our 'emotional eating'. For me, that emotion is boredom. I eat when I am bored and I eat in front of the TV. Its bad, I know. My trigger foods are pretty much every type of junk food you could think of...chips, cookies, cakes, etc. I know what my trigger foods are and when I'm most likely to eat them, so my challenge is to keep them out of the house and occupy myself during the day when I'm most likely to get bored.

So...we had company over this weekend and I bought dessert for after dinner. I was hoping we would eat it all that night so there wouldn't be leftovers...well, I was wrong. This yummy dessert has been staring at me for two days now and I had a moment of weakness and had some. Even though I'm supposed to be on Atkins during this pre-op period I caved and had some of this forbidden fruit. So now this dessert has to go...it has to leave this house now so I won't be tempted anymore. I'm sorry for my husband who also loves this treat and will have to see it discarded half eaten, but in the end it will be good for him too. If it is in the house we will eat it, no question! So...its time to get it out of the house!

Approved

I received my approval letter in the mail from my insurance company today! The letter opens by saying that "the pre-approval request for the Laparoscopic Roux-En-Y Gastric Bypass, for the patient referenced above has been reviewed and has been determined to be medically appropriate." Everything that happens and everything that I read and do is just getting me one step closer to achieving my goal! Its only 11 days away!

12 days

A little less than 2 weeks to go. I've been doing just fine on the modified Atkins and haven't really missed the carbs. Eating meat, eggs, cheese and veggies hasn't been as painful as I thought it would be. I actually am enjoying it. Going out for breakfast this morning wasn't a big deal either. I didn't even miss the homefries or the toast. The large omelet and bacon was more than enough.

I'm doing everything I can to fully prepare myself for what lies ahead and I think I've done a good job so far. I read all I can...even spending time in the bookstore and practically finishing a book there so I don't have to buy it. I feel that I've educated myself and really know everything about what I'm about to do. I know the risks, the major dietary and lifestyle changes, the consequences, the emotional ups and downs, the concerns and worries, the negativity from other people...I know it all and I'm ready. All I need is the support from one person...my husband...and I have it so nothing else really matters.

No Carbs

Even though I technically don't have to start the Atkins diet for another week, I'm challenging myself and figured it wouldn't hurt to get a head start on healthy eating. I started yesterday and was fine, and so far today I'm doing fine. I think I can live without the white carbs and will actually survive! I'm not saying that I didn't want the mashed potatoes that I made last night for my husband and daughter, but I just didn't eat it and I was satisfied with my meal nonetheless. The only thing I have to start doing is getting more fluids in. I don't drink enough and I know I need to stay hydrated. I could go hours without drinking anything and I know that's not good. So my challenge now will be to drink, drink, drink.

Countdown - 3 weeks

3 weeks to go. That's all the time I have left before my life takes a dramatic turn for the better. Its a slightly scary time, a nervous time, an exciting time. When I think of all the possibilities...I get excited. When I think of all the changes..I get nervous. Can I do it? Can I handle it? Of course I can. If I ever tried for anything in my entire life I'm going to try for this...and I will succeed!