1 Week

Its been one week since my surgery. I can't believe its been one week already. I think I'm doing really well. I feel good....still sore and tender on the left side of my abdomen, but other than that, no discomfort. It was another boring day at home. I went for a walk again with Mazzy, which was good for both of us. I have to start moving. I look forward to feeling better so I can really start exercising. Other than going for a walk I didn't do anything today. I drank my fluids and am keeping hydrated. I'm even getting in some protein through my nectar protein supplement. Hopefully today will be the last day of clear liquids. I have my post-op appointment tomorrow so hopefully they tell me I can advance my diet.

Surgery day (post-op)

I was wheeled away sometime after 1pm. The anesthesiologist and OR nurse were so nice. They talked to me the whole time, told me what was going to happen and kept me at ease. It was an odd experience...being on the other end of nursing care as a patient...but I was in a good place and trusted those people with my life (literally). The OR was chilly. I transferred to the narrow OR table and they covered me with warm blankets. They set me up appropriately, gave me some Versed and the last thing I remember was looking above at the over head lights.

I woke up sometime after 5pm. My throat was dry, I barely had a voice and my abdomen had been bashed in with a sledgehammer (or at least that's what it felt like). I didn't hesitate to ask for pain meds. I felt terrible...lots of pain...more than I ever anticipated. I was only in the PACU for about 45 minutes when they took me to my room on the 5th floor. I was very out of it, very tired form the anesthesia and very sore! I had a foley catheter and some oxygen through a nasal cannula. I had IV fluids running. After I got settled in my room Luis came back to see me and then a while later, my brother. I was so tired and in so much pain so they didn't visit for very long. Moving in bed was so difficult but I did try to move around and to move my legs as much as possible.

Even though I was so uncomfortable and in a lot of pain I never once second guessed my decision. I knew this was part of the journey and the pain would only be temporary. I got through that first night...it was a very long night.

Surgery Day (pre-op)

The day of surgery has arrived! I had to report to the surgical staging unit at 9:30am. A nurse took me back around 9:50, took my vital signs, asked me a bunch of admission questions and started an IV. A resident then came in and asked me several of the same questions. It was pretty much a morning of just waiting. My surgeon was behind so we were just sitting there waiting for a couple of hours. We talked and joked around, not really about the surgery, but about other things. I was nervous at this point and reflected a bit with my husband on why I was doing this again. All the reasons came back to me quickly with our brief conversation and I knew I was doing the right thing. I just wanted to get it over with!

A new day

Its the morning of my surgery. I actually slept through the night. I did wake up a few times and was dreaming but it wasn't from nerves. I must admit I'm a little nervous this morning. My husband woke up and got our daughter ready and took her to day care. I gave her big hugs and kisses and told her I'll see her tomorrow. She is definitely some of my inspiration. Mommy is getting healthy for herself but also for her. I want to be a good example to her. I know I could do that without the surgery but I want her to grow up with a healthy, fit mom who tries to live her life in a healthy manner. I want to pass that on to her so she doesn't have to grow up overweight like me.

Its time to shower and get myself ready. Its a new day!

Here I come!

Tomorrow is the big day! I can't believe its here! Time really does go by fast although you never realize it until time passes you by. I remember when I first started thinking about weight loss surgery...that was almost a year ago. Now...here I am, the night before my surgery trying to sort through all the thoughts that are in my head.

My husband and I ate a sushi dinner...nothing out of the ordinary or gluttonous, but something delicious and 'normal'. After that he took my before photos and my measurements. We're going to do that every month until I get to my goal weight. It will be interesting to see the progression and the changes in my body.

Right now I feel fine. I'm not nervous (at this particular moment), but I'm not that excited either. I'm sure I'll be feeling a mix of things tomorrow morning. I want to get it over with, that's for sure. Part of me is thinking "am I crazy for doing this"? My body will never be the same and I'll have to live with this decision for the rest of my life. I know that this surgery has the potential to change my life for the better but I also know that I am a big part of that change and I have to put the work into it. The time for change is now!

The brand new me...here I come!

Never say Never

2 more days to go...wow! I went out to dinner with my husband last night. I've been trying to avoid this whole 'Last Supper' thing but it hit me yesterday. I just wanted to eat a 'normal' meal. We found a steakhouse and ate there. I wasn't a total glutton...I mean I didn't eat any more than I normally would have. We had a chicken appetizer, a Cesar salad, and I had a small 7 oz steak with mashed potatoes and a shrimp and crab gratan. It was good. I left full, that's for sure. It was probably the last time I would ever eat that much in one sitting. I'll never eat a plate of food like that again! Its crazy to say something like that...never. I always used to say "Never say never" but in this case its true. In the future I won't have the multi-course dinner we all get at restaurants. I won't indulge in an appetizer, a salad, the main course and wash it down with a soda. I look forward to being satisfied from a few bites of a nice, moist steak and a few bites of a vegetable or salad. That will be my dinner experience from now on.

Test Day

Today I went to have all my pre-admission testing done. It was simple and fairly quick. I spoke with a nurse who drew my blood and did an EKG. Then I spoke with a nurse practitioner from the anesthesia group...and finally a chest x-ray was done all in one hours time. Everyone was so nice and wished me luck for my surgery on Wednesday. While taking my medical history (which is pretty much non-existant) the nurse practitioner kept commenting on how 'easy' I was. "This is so easy", she kept saying. I knew what she meant and it made me feel good to know how low-risk I am for surgery and anesthesia. Now all I have to do is wait for the phone call the evening before surgery telling me what time to report to the surgical waiting area.

7 Days

7 days...exactly one week from today my life will change forever. Time is actually going slowly because I'm literally counting down the days, but I can't help it. I've been doing really well following the Atkins diet. I've wanted to cheat many times but have refrained, knowing that it won't contribute to the overall goal...which is to change my lifestyle and eating habits. I'm also working on changing my thought process about food and positive thinking to go along with the physical changes. Its not easy but nothing hard ever is, right?

Pre-admission testing

I got the phone call this morning to schedule my pre-admission testing. Its a two hour appointment where I have my anesthesia consult, a physical and all the necessary testing done like blood work, EKG and chest x-ray. I knew that they wouldn't call to schedule this until a week before my surgery, but I've still been anxiously waiting for the call. This is just one more step closer to next week. Its only 8 days away!

Cravings

I had strong cravings this afternoon. Cravings for all the restaurant foods that I love and that I so desperately want right now! I just kept thinking of all the places I love to go eat and how I won't be able to eat at those places for a very long time. I also reminded myself how silly it was to think that way because in time I will be able to enjoy most foods again, just in smaller amounts. I'm experiencing this thing called the 'Last Supper' phenomenon. I want to eat all I can right now and get those 'last meals' in before the surgery. Since I'm on Atkins pre-operatively I can't really eat any the foods I'm craving anyway, but that didn't stop the strong urge to eat them.

Without really thinking about it I distracted myself by playing with my daughter and watching Spongebob Squarepants with her for a few minutes and that actually distracted me from my cravings. I wasn't trying to distract myself but it happened and after a few minutes my strong cravings were gone! I'll have to remember that in the future cause this won't be the last time!

And thank god for my wonderful, supportive husband, who through email, reminded me that this was all in my head and that I have to be strong. He's the best!

Trigger Foods

I've been reading some books about weight loss surgery and one book in particular discusses trigger foods and how important it is to remove them from your home. Trigger foods are those foods we all gravitate towards when we do our 'emotional eating'. For me, that emotion is boredom. I eat when I am bored and I eat in front of the TV. Its bad, I know. My trigger foods are pretty much every type of junk food you could think of...chips, cookies, cakes, etc. I know what my trigger foods are and when I'm most likely to eat them, so my challenge is to keep them out of the house and occupy myself during the day when I'm most likely to get bored.

So...we had company over this weekend and I bought dessert for after dinner. I was hoping we would eat it all that night so there wouldn't be leftovers...well, I was wrong. This yummy dessert has been staring at me for two days now and I had a moment of weakness and had some. Even though I'm supposed to be on Atkins during this pre-op period I caved and had some of this forbidden fruit. So now this dessert has to go...it has to leave this house now so I won't be tempted anymore. I'm sorry for my husband who also loves this treat and will have to see it discarded half eaten, but in the end it will be good for him too. If it is in the house we will eat it, no question! So...its time to get it out of the house!

Approved

I received my approval letter in the mail from my insurance company today! The letter opens by saying that "the pre-approval request for the Laparoscopic Roux-En-Y Gastric Bypass, for the patient referenced above has been reviewed and has been determined to be medically appropriate." Everything that happens and everything that I read and do is just getting me one step closer to achieving my goal! Its only 11 days away!

12 days

A little less than 2 weeks to go. I've been doing just fine on the modified Atkins and haven't really missed the carbs. Eating meat, eggs, cheese and veggies hasn't been as painful as I thought it would be. I actually am enjoying it. Going out for breakfast this morning wasn't a big deal either. I didn't even miss the homefries or the toast. The large omelet and bacon was more than enough.

I'm doing everything I can to fully prepare myself for what lies ahead and I think I've done a good job so far. I read all I can...even spending time in the bookstore and practically finishing a book there so I don't have to buy it. I feel that I've educated myself and really know everything about what I'm about to do. I know the risks, the major dietary and lifestyle changes, the consequences, the emotional ups and downs, the concerns and worries, the negativity from other people...I know it all and I'm ready. All I need is the support from one person...my husband...and I have it so nothing else really matters.